Lonely
by Ivanjedi
Summary: An year after the Final Battle and two weeks after Ron and Hermione's wedding, Harry Potter has nothing left to live for. Or does he? Post Ootp, no HBP or DH. Warning: suicide attempt, oneshot


**Disclaimer**: I'm obviously not our beloved Author JKR, so I own absolutely nothing

It was over. His service to the wizarding world was done. A year ago Lord Voldemort, the most feared Dark Lord in centuries, had fallen. He let out a derisive snort, tossing his Order of Merlin, First class, into the wall. Everyone he ever had lost or sacrificed and for what? For this useless piece of gold! Remus… The Last of the Marauders lay in Saint Mungo's in a coma, poisoned by the silver in Wormtail's arm. Ron and Hermione… Well, they had survived, but big good was that to him! They'd gotten married just two weeks ago, and the last thing they needed was a friend drowning in grief and despair. Ginny… He choked a sob.

The fiery redhead had come in his life with a bang. He loved her – not that she'd ever know, or care. He had first noticed what she was truly like when she, after weeks of attempts, had finally managed to make him look beyond his grief for Sirius. He'd never tell her, of course, but she was the primary reason Voldemort was dead – he'd done it for her, and with her, for his love for her had fueled the ancient purification spell that had cleansed Tom Riddle of his evil, leaving nothing but an empty shell behind.

Empty shell… That was what was left from him. Albus Dumbledore had told Riddle the truth, there were worse things than death. One of those things was to watch the woman you loved pay everyone more attention than she did to you, knowing full well that you were to blame. Knowing that you took too long to notice her. Knowing that now you had your whole life to regret it.

Tonight, it was the worst. Tonight, he knew he had lost her forever. He never heard what they were saying, of course, but there was no need. The dinner for two on candlelight, the exotic food, and the opened jewelry box – it didn't take a genius to realize what was going on. And if he had to be fair, Colin was a good lad – one who would never intentionally hurt a woman.

He let out a bitter laugh. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Vanquisher, the one who would gladly die for everyone he deemed worthy of his friendship, had nothing left to live for.

"Well." He mused aloud. "I was ready to die for everyone else, shouldn't have a problem dying for myself."

Harry Potter folded the letter he was writing, left it on the kitchen table and picked a knife. It was sharp, so it had no problem cutting on one of his wrists, then the other. He watched blankly as his own blood pooled on the floor. The last thing he heard before blackness consumed him was the activation of the fireplace.

* * *

As Ginny Weasley watched the healers fuss with Harry, she had great difficulty keeping the image of him lying in a puddle of his own blood from popping back into her mind. And the inevitable question arose. Why? Why had he done it? Why someone who had everything seek death?

As far as Ginny was concerned, Harry Potter had everything – great friends in Ron and Hermione, a loving family in the Weasleys, enough money to last him ten lifetimes, fame… She snorted. It was bad enough before. After the death of Voldemort, there was a period he could not poke his nose out of his home without risk being swarmed by fans, and he still received at least 10 wedding proposals a week from the fan mail. So the question stood – why would such man want to die?

She loved him, of course. And it wasn't the naïve, adolescent crush she had to him – that was long gone. She had told Hermione the truth four years ago – that infatuation was in the past. However, during her fifth year, seeing him drown in his grief, something else had started, something far deeper and stronger. Alas, it was no more hope for it to be returned than her previous feelings had. At least, in her new role of a friend, she'd been able to help him through his trials. But it was all she would ever be to him, and that knowledge was getting more and more difficult to bear the longer they stayed near each other. That's why she'd started dating Colin once Harry graduated. Seeing the man she loved so close to death, and by his own hand no less, was but all she could bear.

"Miss Weasley?" a voice startled her out of her thoughts. A healer. "He will be all right. You arrived in time."

"Did you examine his mind? What forced him to do this?"

"Nothing. As far as we can determine, this was his choice."

TWO DAYS LATER…

"Harry."

"Ginny."

"Why did you do it? What were you thinking? What could be so bad so you'd want to die?"

"I tried, Ginny, I really did. But I can't do it. I can't go on alone."

"Alone! ALONE? What kind of no – brained idea is this, Harry Potter? Do you family and friends mean nothing for you?" W_hat about me?" _

Harry laughed. The bitterness in his voice shook Ginny to the core.

"What family? They are all dead or comatose, remember? As for the friends… Most of those who call themselves my friends would turn their backs on me the first moment of trouble. As for the others, all of them have done for me ten times what I deserve. I have no right to ask for more. And the last thing I want is those I care for most to put their own happiness on hold in order to worry about me."

"No, you'd have them mourn you for the rest of their lives instead!"

"Cut the crap, Ginny! For the rest of their lives indeed! As if you all don't have lives to live! Who'd be stupid enough to mourn me?" Harry snapped.

"I would!"

"What?!"

"I love you, you moron! Do I mean nothing to you?"

Harry blinked, certain he'd heard wrong. Ginny couldn't have just told him she was in love wit him, could she? She got over him years ago, and now was with Colin right? Right?"

"Ginny, please, don't do this to me! I don't want your pity!"

"You think I feel sorry for you?"

"What else it could be, Ginny? How can you love me if you are marrying Colin? Don't bother denying it, I saw everything!"

Ginny closed the distance between them and slapped him. Hard.

"You bloody idiot! If I had accepted, I'd be wearing a ring right now! Though I'm starting to regret I did! At least he'd pay enough attention to me to see these little details!"

I should have…" She could say no more, for Harry pulled her to him and the gap between their lips closed.

"Ginny… Without you, I'm nothing. You are everything for me. I love you."


End file.
